problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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