God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
