Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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