Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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