At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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