I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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