Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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