Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
