were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't put those talents on a resume
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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