i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
