He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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