I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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