1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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