just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
