You're so nebulous sometimes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize