bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize