I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
