He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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