She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
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From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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