Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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