if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
