i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
