When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
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Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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