She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
