we're blogging at a bar
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
