You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
