Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
