didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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