Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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