i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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