You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
