All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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