Just fell off a train. Bad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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