Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When did angry sex become our thing?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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