from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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