dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
