i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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