so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
