So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
