I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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