I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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