Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
