Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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