we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
