I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
God I need to hump something, right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
