Kiss
Puke
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
