apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So apparently I’m into choking now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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