I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I believe in your delicious
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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