What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
