We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
