it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
