my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
