I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
