I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize