So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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