he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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