i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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